Bagel bomber busted at Vital Records


My plan was to hitchhike from Tinicum swamp past the junkyards and into Philly through the backdoor. My friend Swamp Rabbit tried to discourage me, but I had no choice, a temp agency was insisting on proof that I really existed, so I had to order a copy of my birth certificate, in person, at the Division of Vital Records, in Center City.

This, of course, is easier said than done. When you get to the Vital Records building, you have to take a number and wait for hours to speak to a clerk through a tiny hole in a bulletproof window. And that’s only if you get past two armed, gray-uniformed guards and their scanning devices, which are to make sure no one brings in bombs or other weapons. Why anyone would want to blow up a bunch of applications for birth and death certificates is a mystery to me, but I guess Big Brother knows.

I was commanded to empty the contents of my pockets into a plastic tray and put the tray and my backpack on the conveyor belt of the x-ray scanner. Then I had to walk between the two poles of another scanner, which (I think) was merely a metal detector. I made it inside but my bag set off an alarm, beep beep. The conveyor belt stopped moving.

The heavier guard took a long look at a monitor I couldn’t see. Then she eyed me suspiciously and said, “You got something shaped like a bagel in that bag?”

“Yes,” I replied, “A bagel.”

The guard ordered me to walk back through the metal detector, zip open the bag and remove the offending article. I pulled back the tin foil in which I’d wrapped a pumpernickel bagel, my favorite kind.

“You can’t bring no bagel into Vital Records,” she said.

I explained that the bagel was my lunch and promised not to eat it until my business inside was finished, but she wasn’t having any of that.

“You got to eat it outside, or throw it away,” she said, eyeing me even more suspiciously.

You’ve heard of the shoe bomber? I guess she thought I was the bagel bomber, armed with an explosive too subtle for x-rays to detect. It was a losing battle, so I threw the bagel into a nearby trashcan. The guard tensed up, as if fearing the bagel might still go off.

I’d learned my lesson — don’t try to sneak a bagel into a municipal building. But too late! My picture was probably being taken from a dozen angles and sent by Big Brother to cops all over the country, with this message: Be on the lookout for this man. May be carrying explosive bagels.

Footnote: Here’s a good piece about x-ray scanners and police states.

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Atlantic City’s ultimate crap-out, a.k.a. Revel


Revel is a bust, but A.C. is still a great place for enterprising job seekers.

Revel is a bust, but A.C. is still a great place for enterprising job seekers.

They echoed in my head this morning, the words of Swamp Rabbit as he confronted me at my shotgun shack in the Tinicum swamp: “What’s your plan, Odd Man?”

The pesky little rodent mocks me because I tend to bitch about being broke. He tries to provoke me into jumping off the porch into the swamp to try to wring his scrawny neck. His other favorite question is, “If you’re so smart, Odd Man, how come you ain’t rich?”

He still jokes about my recent trip to Atlantic City, where I tried to get work with the beach patrol, making sure women’s bathing skirt hems were no more than four inches above their knees. (Atlantic City is trying to become more of a family resort, or so I have read.)

The women kicked sand in my face when I tried to grab hold of their legs, so I took a walk to see if Revel was hiring. Revel, you might recall, is the $2.4 billion, 47-floor casino-hotel that was going to transform A.C. from a blue-collar gambling town into a chic destination for vacationers who enjoy lunch prepared by Michelin chefs, a dip in the rooftop pool overlooking the ocean, and a few hands of baccarat before the full-body massage. And God help any troglodyte who tried to smoke a cigarette in this upscale consumers’ paradise.

But Revel wasn’t hiring. In fact, it was trying to bounce back from bankruptcy by pulling a one-eighty. Its fate will hinge on whether it can re-invent itself as a hangout for hardcore low-level gamblers (slots players, ugh) rather than a haven for would-be sophisticates. As for the smoking ban — would you like a fresh ash tray with your cigarette, ma’am?

Swamp Rabbit got a few laughs out of Revel’s new incarnation, especially when I told him it had secured $350 million in “exit financing” when it emerged from bankruptcy. He said, “If the guys who run this place are so dumb, how come they ain’t busted?”

Which happens to be the question of the decade, one that reporters never get around to asking about the thieves who still run the economy-killing Wall Street banks that survived only because of government bailouts.

Footnote: Revel’s main financial backer used to be Morgan Stanley, which received a $107.3 bailout from the Fed after the economy tanked in 2008.

One more: A recent newspaper story headlined “Revel sued by gamblers who felt cheated by casino’s ‘You Can’t Lose’ campaign,” provides more evidence that the people who run Revel, and Atlantic City, are dumber than swamp rabbits.

Posted in casinos, economic collapse, Goldman Sachs, Great Recession, humor, mainstream media, unemployment, Wall Street | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Walter White, working-class hero


walter white

Last week the Philadelphia Daily News ran a story about unemployment with a photo of a middle-aged man in a business suit — a former office worker out of luck and money — begging for a job on a streetcorner in Center City.

Reading the story at my shack in the Tinicum swamp, I thought: 1) There but for the grace of God and a few thousand bucks go I, and 2) The only thing worse than having a soul-killing office job is having no job at all, and 3) the guy in the DN story needs to make a survival plan, as Walter White did in the TV series Breaking Bad.

At that moment my friend Swamp Rabbit swam up to me and said, “What’s your plan, Odd Man?”

Good question. I confessed to the rabbit that I’m too ignorant to make a go of it in the digital world and not a good enough thief to prosper in financial services. I don’t have the commercial instincts to make money writing fiction, the racket in which I’ve invested most of my time and energy, and I don’t know enough chemistry to cook high-quality methamphetamine, the substance that has saved Walter White from bankruptcy and worse. The next time I get hit with a serious health- or housing-related expense, I’m busted.

I’m not alone, I added. In my rare unselfish moments, I wonder what will happen to the hordes of recent college grads in debt up to their ears, fighting to land jobs in a country run by a small group of self-obsessed jerks who grow their personal fortunes, and those of their investors, by cutting wages and killing good jobs. And what about the older workers being fired left and right and, in many cases, robbed of their pensions?

A recent piece in AlterNet summed up the situation:

We are living in a zero-sum economy – in which a handful of investors and owners win at everyone else’s expense. But ultimately, it will catch up with investors, too. The U.S. economy is engaged in a vicious cycle in which low-wage jobs and under-employment stimulate little demand, giving companies little reason to hire workers. Would-be workers then get discouraged and drop out of the workforce. They lack money to buy things, so consumer spending sags and companies don’t hire or offer raises to workers they know they can keep. Repeat.

Meanwhile, our elected officials, who are owned by the corporate bosses and the financial wizards who wrecked the economy, are working to put home ownership, higher education and decent medical care out of reach for most Americans. The deck is stacked against us.

The Breaking Bad writers knew this was the key to making Walter sympathetic — show the deck was stacked against him. He’s a family man who had worked hard at a regular job and had always paid his taxes but ended up, because of lung cancer, with debts he couldn’t repay without becoming an outlaw. Who in Walter’s situation wouldn’t break bad to save their families and homes, if they thought they could get away with it?

More importantly, how bad is the drug kingpin Walter compared to the kingpins who created and nurtured our zero-sum economy — George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Robert Rubin, Lawrence Summers, and so on. In the same room with such swine, Walter would smell like a hero.

The rabbit shook his head and ducked underwater for a minute. “Nice speech,” he said, resurfacing. “But what’s your plan, Odd Man?”

Posted in economic collapse, globalization, Goldman Sachs, Great Recession, humor, mainstream media, Philadelphia, unemployment | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Stalin would have smiled at Manning’s sentence


stalin smiles

Ben Wizner of the ACLU sums up why he thinks decent people everywhere should be disgusted by the 35-year prison sentence imposed on Bradley Manning this week:

When a soldier who shared information with the press and public is punished far more harshly than others who tortured prisoners and killed civilians, something is seriously wrong with our justice system.

Actually, Wizner missed the mark. It’s not about the degree of punishment. Manning should be hailed, not punished, for bringing to light crimes of a military apparatus that is supposed to adhere to a code of conduct that prohibits torture and attacks on civilians. The fact that Manning’s defense team was barred from using evidence of those crimes and the cover-up of those crimes — i.e., the documents leaked by Manning to Wikileaks — is proof that the government never intended to allow him anything more than the sort of show trial Joe Stalin would have ordered in Communist Russia.

But this obvious point was ignored by the corporate media, which would much rather direct our attention to the big questions of our time. Who will play Batman next. How many times did Paula Deen use the n-word. Will the Pats be strong enough at tight end now that Aaron Hernandez is in jail. Stay tuned.

Footnote: James Wolcott points to another sick irony in his take on this travesty of justice:

As has been noted on Twitter, Hitler’s favorite architect and convicted Nazi war criminal Albert Speer was sentenced to 20 years in prison, 15 shy of the 35 year sentence meted out to Bradley Manning this week for leaking classified documents to Wikileaks.

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Chris Christie to Mother Nature: Who’s your daddy?


Chris Christie as King Canute, when the next hurricane hits

Chris Christie as King Canute

New Jerseyans know better than to mess with Gov. Chris Christie. They’ve heard him dis firefighters who want decent pensions, shout down schoolteachers who defend the public school system, and heap scorn on skeptics who argue it’s foolish to spend huge sums on beach replenishment because the beaches will surely be washed away again in the next Sandy-size storm.

Christie scoffs at such negativity and at the suggestion that climate change is real. “I’ve got a place to rebuild here and people want to talk to me about esoteric theories,” he told NBC’s Matt Lauer on Memorial Day weekend. “We’ve got plenty of time to do that later on.”

“Later on” presumably means when billions more dollars are needed to bolster the barrier islands again, after Christie’s bid for the presidential nomination. Meanwhile, I’m picturing him as King Canute, in an extra-large beach chair on Long Beach Island, commanding Mother Nature to stop the next superstorm from rolling in.

Someone could be in for a rude awakening, and it ain’t Mother Nature.

Footnote: The firm that came up with “Stronger than the Storm,” a post-Sandy slogan for New Jersey that also works as a slogan for Christie in the upcoming gubernatorial election — is living proof that arrogant and stupid are sometimes synonyms.

One more: How come tax-hating Republicans who own beachfront property always expect taxpayers to bail them out after a big storm?

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The pig and the Post (another trophy for Jeff Bezos)


Caravaggio's Narcissus

Caravaggio’s Narcissus

A few facts about Jeff Bezos, billionaire CEO of Amazon.com, the enormously profitable online department store that’s beating up on bricks-and-mortar retail outlets: 1) The price Bezos paid this week for the Washington Post was $250 million, about one percent of his net worth. 2) Bezos has sunk $42 million — about one-sixth of what he paid for the Post — into construction of a giant clock that reportedly will keep on ticking for 10,000 years.

The first fact is depressing, the second absurd. It’s a reminder that plutocrats (so glad that word is back in common usage) are prone to spending great sums simply because they can. It hardly matters whether the money is spent on a once-prestigious newspaper, a great artwork, or a clock that will last as long as a pharoah’s tomb. The more money spent, the brighter the purchased object glitters. To an obscenely wealthy egotist like Bezos, its glitter reflects the greatness of the purchaser. Greatness can be measured only in terms of purchasing power.

I first heard about the $42 million clock on Marketplace, a business news show on public radio that never fails to present free-market capitalism as gossipy and glamorous and exempt from criticism. You’ll hear cute little items about the antics of guys like Bezos but nary a word about the warehouses where badly underpaid workers had to endure brutal heat before Amazon was shamed into installing air-conditioning. Nothing cute about slave labor.

Footnote: Thanks to Alec MacGillis of New Republic for pointing out that President Obama, the plutocrats’ pal, thinks its great news that Amazon is creating more warehouse jobs that don’t pay a living wage.

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Tom Friedman’s brave new fantasy world


Citizen Friedman's house

Citizen Friedman’s home

Richard Eskow’s insights regarding Thomas Friedman will make perfect sense to anyone who has read Friedman’s gung-ho dispatches about globalization and entrepreneurship in the digital age, or his advice to the discouraged — “But you know what they say to do with lemons? Make lemonade”:

Friedman is a closet Ayn Rand in many ways, but he gives Rand’s ugly and exploitative philosophy a pseudo-intellectual, liberal-friendly feel-good gloss. He turns her harsh industrial metal music into melodious easy listening: John Galt meets John Denver. That make him very useful to those who would dismantle the engines of real economic growth, the ones that create jobs while protecting life and limb.

Eskow was reacting to a recent column in which Friedman declared “Average is over,” dismissing the millions who’ve lost good jobs and haven’t come up with an idea for a new business that would catapult them into the ranks of the super-wealthy. You know — an air mattress bed-and-breakfast chain. Or maybe a new app that will cool your house, walk your dog and send witty texts to your girlfriend, all at the same time.

As if there is anything above average about Friedman, who rarely writes a column that doesn’t feature dead-wrong statements about American foreign policy and other weighty matters. Check out his support for the Iraq war or, more recently, his ignorant allusion to Winston Churchill while trying to make a point about immigration reform.

Friedman and Rand would make an interesting couple — the upbeat proselytizer and the dour scold — but Rand has been dead for decades and Friedman is cozily married to a real-estate heiress with whom he shares a mansion worth more than $9 million.

What’s remarkable about this is that we live in an era when many if not most journalists are either jobless or working for a lot less money than they once earned. Friedman avoided this dilemma by becoming a mustachioed mouthpiece for the owner class, making huge sums on the lecture circuit after writing the fatuously titled The World Is Flat. Hey, you know what they say to do with lemons…

Posted in economic collapse, globalization, Great Recession, Iraq war, mainstream media, New York Times, unemployment | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Dems-in-name-only won’t help close income gap


The British edition is more fittingly titled "What's the Matter With America?"

The British edition is more fittingly titled “What’s the Matter With America?”

Paul Krugman, commenting on one of the moral midgets who pushed through the House a new farm bill that would maintain generous government subsidies for agribusinesses while eliminating food stamps:

Now, some enemies of food stamps don’t quote libertarian philosophy; they quote the Bible instead. Representative Stephen Fincher of Tennessee, for example, cited the New Testament: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” Sure enough, it turns out that Mr. Fincher has personally received millions in farm subsidies.

And here’s No More Mister Nice Blog‘s ironic restatement of Krugman’s point:

God and the free market (neither of which ever make a mistake) made you poor because you have poverty coming to you (because you chose to do things that made you poor, mostly having to do with laziness and sex and substance abuse). You are meant to suffer — and those evil liberals who insist on mandating that you get a helping hand from the taxpayer are interfering with God’s plan for you, and messing with the mechanisms of the marketplace, which are divinely ordained and are part of natural law.

Nicely done, but we already knew that libertarians and Bible thumpers are linked by their mutual contempt for the poor, and that Congress is full of Republicans like Fincher, who doesn’t even blink at the hypocrisy of cutting government food aid to the poor (a large percentage of whom are kids) while supporting government handouts to big business.

Liberal pundits needn’t remind readers that Republicans are ugly-minded — that’s a given. Better they should ask prominent Democrats why they aren’t pushing back hard against the uglies, who are clearly on a mission to expand the gap between the haves and have-nots. Better to exhort the Dems, from the president on down, to forge ahead rather than flinch in confrontations with those who would scuttle workers’ rights and shred what’s left of the social safety net. (This is assuming some Obama-style Dems have a sense of shame.)

Almost a decade ago, in What’s the Matter With Kansas?, the prescient historian Thomas Frank noted that the Democratic establishment had stopped siding with organized labor, and with the working class in general, in order to coax larger campaign contributions out of the predatory rich:

Such Democrats explicitly rule out what they deride as “class warfare” and take great pains to emphasize their friendliness to business interests. Like the conservatives, they take economic issues off the table. As for the working-class voters who were until recently the party’s very backbone, the [Democratic Leadership Council] figures they will have nowhere else to go; Democrats will always be marginally better on economic issues than Republicans.

In 2008, many working people, riding a wave of renewed optimism, figured Barack Obama and a Democratic Congress, if voted in, would get the country back on track. Instead, the Dems helped bail out Wall Street banksters at the expense of millions of newly poor Americans whose jobs and/or homes had been lost in the economic collapse caused by the banksters.

With “nowhere else to go,” Democratic voters re-elected Obama in 2012, hoping he’d focus on the interests of the poor and nearly poor this time around. So far, Obama and other so-called liberals — Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and so on — have responded with nothing but empty rhetoric. They wring their hands and back down when the uglies threaten to block legislation that would benefit the 99 percent. And they pretend to be indignant, of course.

Check out this critique of a speech about the income gap that Obama gave Wednesday. Once again, our orator-in-chief voiced vague generalities regarding creation of good jobs and said nothing about maintaining programs that help the needy. Is it any wonder pigs like Fincher feel confident enough to back legislation that would all but eliminate such programs?

Posted in Congress, economic collapse, globalization, Great Recession, mainstream media, Obama, The New Depression, unemployment, Wall Street | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Krugman strains eyes, can’t see light at tunnel’s end


Pearl Harbor, Dec. 7, 1941. The ultimate economic stimulus trigger.

Pearl Harbor, Dec. 7, 1941. The ultimate economic stimulus.

Give credit to Paul Krugman for consistently refusing to pretend the so-called Great Recession was anything less than a depression. Now he’s suggesting hard times might be here to stay, because working-class Americans are too brain-dead to take action on their own behalf:

You might think that a persistently poor economy — an economy in which millions of people who could and should be productively employed are jobless, and in many cases have been without work for a very long time — would eventually spark public outrage. But the political science evidence on economics and elections is unambiguous: what matters is the rate of change, not the level.

Put it this way: If unemployment rises from 6 to 7 percent during an election year, the incumbent will probably lose. But if it stays flat at 8 percent through the incumbent’s whole term, he or she will probably be returned to power. And this means that there’s remarkably little political pressure to end our continuing, if low-grade, depression.

Someday, I suppose, something will turn up that finally gets us back to full employment. But I can’t help recalling that the last time we were in this kind of situation, the thing that eventually turned up was World War II.

We’ve been down so long, we forget what up looks like, except for the relative few of us with secure jobs that pay well. We’ve been duped by crooked politicians in both major parties and the corporate creeps who bankroll them — the guys who insist it’s OK for less than one percent of the population to keep growing richer at the expense of everyone else.

I’m glad when Krugman and others try to stir up public outrage at giant companies hoarding billions of dollars that could put people back to work. Not so glad about his reminder that it took a world war to restore the country to full unemployment after the Great Depression.

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In today’s U.S.A., Ellsberg would be deep-sixed


jail chair
Regarding a convergence of stories about truth tellers: Last week I watched The Most Dangerous Man in America (2009), about Daniel Ellsberg’s decision to shred the web of lies spun by government officials in their successful effort to pursue full-scale war in Vietnam. I’d forgotten how extraordinary Ellsberg was — he was a government insider who’d tried to make himself believe his colleagues were honest and the war worth pursuing — and how much the American justice system has changed since he presented the New York Times with a copy of the Pentagon Papers in 1971.

Ellsberg was arrested and charged under the Espionage Act, but he remained free for two years, speaking out against the war, until his trial began. Charges were dismissed after evidence of government misconduct — illegal wiretapping, the ridiculous Watergate break-in, and so on — was brought to light.

Watching the film, I wondered what would happen to Ellsberg if he’d blown the whistle on government liars in, say, 2013. Would he be out on bail and allowed to speak freely? Here’s Ellsberg answering those questions in a piece about whistleblower Edward Snowden:

I hope Snowden’s revelations will spark a movement to rescue our democracy, but he could not be part of that movement had he stayed here. There is zero chance that he would be allowed out on bail if he returned now and close to no chance that, had he not left the country, he would have been granted bail. Instead, he would be in a prison cell like Bradley Manning, incommunicado.

He would almost certainly be confined in total isolation, even longer than the more than eight months Manning suffered during his three years of imprisonment before his trial began recently. The United Nations Special Rapporteur for Torture described Manning’s conditions as “cruel, inhuman and degrading.” (That realistic prospect, by itself, is grounds for most countries granting Snowden asylum, if they could withstand bullying and bribery from the United States.)

Snowden believes that he has done nothing wrong. I agree wholeheartedly. More than 40 years after my unauthorized disclosure of the Pentagon Papers, such leaks remain the lifeblood of a free press and our republic. One lesson of the Pentagon Papers and Snowden’s leaks is simple: secrecy corrupts, just as power corrupts.

If freedom to leak information about corruption in government is the country’s lifeblood, then we’re badly in need of a transfusion. And if we’re counting on the mainstream press to fight for its right to report corruption, as it fought in Ellsberg’s time, we are truly screwed. It’s worth noting that prominent mainstream journalists — the dopey David Gregory and Wall Street sycophant Andrew Ross Sorkin come to mind — have behaved like mouthpieces for the government in their coverage of the Snowden story.

Ominously, the major news outlets are becoming more timid — more tightly controlled by their corporate owners — at the same time the government is using police-state tactics to make it harder for activists to protest the government’s attack on free speech and other rights we once took for granted.

Future historians will write volumes about America’s transition from democracy to police state in the decade following the 9/11 attacks. They will note that the free press’s last hurrah in an adversarial role with government took place in the 1970s, and that Americans, by and large, turned out to be just as inclined to accept government tyranny as Germans in the 1930s.

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