Category Archives: humor

Leftover Halloween treats


Swamp Rabbit was knocking on my front door. He wanted to know why I was playing music so loud at such an early hour. “I’m working on a soundtrack for a remake of Psycho. I’ll use Bernard Herrmann’s ‘Psycho: Prelude,’ … Continue reading →

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Why are Halloween candy prices so scary?


The local CVS is as big as a supermarket. The good drugs are locked away in the pharmacy, but the rest of the store is jammed with “over-the-counter” drugs, cosmetics and junk food. Halloween candy is stacked in plastic bags … Continue reading →

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Vance makes strong bid for Most Hideous Man award


I thought of the perfect title for a book that profiles Donald Trump’s most prominent lapdogs and liars — Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. Unfortunately, that title was used in the 1990s by David Foster Wallace, so I’ll have to … Continue reading →

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It’s time for a remake of ‘A Face in the Crowd’


“This movie is good but it’s old,” I said to Swamp Rabbit. “It should be remade and updated.” We were watching A Face in the Crowd (1957), starring Andy Griffith as Lonesome Rhodes, a folksy drifter turned reality TV star … Continue reading →

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ICE to cops: Want some shiny new patrol cars?


We were in South Philly, discussing the state of the nation over lunch from a local pretzel factory. “Did you see this? ” I said, showing Swamp Rabbit a passage from historian Timothy Snyder’s On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the … Continue reading →

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‘Influencer’ weaponizes cheesesteak in South Philly


We were arguing about a customer who bought a cheesesteak at Pat’s King of Steaks on Wednesday and allegedly shouted “It’s garbage!” before throwing the sandwich in the face of the shop’s general manager. “What’s the big deal?” I joked. … Continue reading →

Posted in food, humor, mainstream media, Philadelphia | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Faith in Dear Leader tested by diesel prices


My neighbor Swamp Rabbit thinks MAGA zealots will stand by their man. They didn’t lose faith when Donald Trump imposed counterproductive tariffs, undercut freedom of the press, sabotaged renewable energy projects, and deported immigrants who are U.S. citizens. According to … Continue reading →

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The windmills of Trump’s mind


“The news is bad, Swamp Rabbit. We’re keeping coal plants on life support, propping up super-emitters of methane, ignoring record heat and wildfires and long-term droughts, blocking production of electric cars and offshore wind farms, all because of one spiteful … Continue reading →

Posted in apocalypse, climate change, humor, mainstream media, pop music | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Labor organizers have (lots of) work to do


Last week on Labor Day I found a column I wrote in 2011 for the 100th anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire. It’s what editors call an evergreen column, meaning it will always be topical. Plutocrats are still fighting … Continue reading →

Posted in arts, Congress, history, humor, mainstream media, Nativism, plutocracy, Politics, sports, unemployment | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

The irony of anti-immigration efforts


“Remember when ICE locked up that guy from Guinea who lived in Philly legally for twenty years, just because they could? There are a million stories like his.” I was telling my crusty neighbor Swamp Rabbit that the history of … Continue reading →

Posted in globalization, humor, immigration, mainstream media, Nativism, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments