Mitt jokes about lost jobs

Posted on March 29, 2012 by oddmanout215

My dad laid everybody off, you get it? Hahaha!

You don’t have to be a natural-born entertainer to win a major election, but you do have to be a fairly good liar. You have to know your audiences reasonably well, and tell them what they want to hear. That’s what makes Mitt Romney so special. Even when he tries to sound like an average Joe, he ends up reminding listeners that he’s the guy who puts the average Joes out of work.

From NYT:

Mitt Romney opened a “tele-town hall” with Wisconsin voters on Wednesday afternoon with what he described as a “humorous” story highlighting his connections to the state. But not everyone found the story, about his father closing a Michigan factory, quite so funny.

“You may remember my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors and they made Ramblers and Jeeps, and they had a factory in Michigan, and they had a factory in Kenosha, Wis., and another one in Milwaukee, Wis.,” Mr. Romney began. “And as the president of the company he decided to close the factory in Michigan and move all the production to Wisconsin. Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan, and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the production to Wisconsin was a very sensitive issue to him, for his campaign.”

Haha! What then?

“And I recall at one parade where he was going down the street, he was led by a band — they had a high school band that was leading each of the candidates — and his band did not know how to play the Michigan fight song, it only knew how to play the Wisconsin fight song. So every time they would start playing ‘On, Wisconsin! On, Wisconsin!’ my dad’s political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop, because they didn’t want people in Michigan to be reminded that my dad had moved production to Wisconsin.”

Haha, that’s a good one! What’s funny is that Mitt always forgets he’s not at the private club with his private-equity pirate friends. He can’t resist indirectly reminding voters about his years at Bain Capital, where his specialty wasn’t moving production plants and jobs but rather destroying them.

Which reminds me, did you hear the one about Mitt saying he doesn’t approve of health insurance for people with pre-existing conditions?

Posted in economic collapse, Great Recession, humor, Mitt Romney, New York Times | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Supreme buffoon serves up broccoli

Posted on March 28, 2012 by oddmanout215

Solicitor General Donald B. Verrilli Jr., the Obama administration’s lawyer, didn’t do himself any good yesterday when he argued that health care is no more than a product on the market that everyone must eventually buy. This left the door open for Justice Antonin Scalia to make a buffoonish analogy:

Could you define the market — everybody has to buy food sooner or later, so you define the market as food, therefore, everybody is in the market; therefore, you can make people buy broccoli.

Verrilli tried to explain why the health care market is different from the food market, but he didn’t do a good job. So Scalia interrupted again and asked if there is a “principled basis” for distinguishing the health care market from any other market.

Verrilli, apparently intimidated by the buffoon, continued to flounder until Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg jumped in to save his ass:

Mr. Verrilli, I thought that your main point is that, unlike food or any other market, when you made the choice not to buy insurance, even though you have every intent in the world to self-insure, to save for it, when disaster strikes, you may not have the money. And the tangible result of it is — we were told there was one brief that Maryland Hospital Care bills 7 percent more because of these uncompensated costs, that families pay a thousand dollars more than they would if there were no uncompensated costs. I thought what was unique about this is it’s not my choice whether I want to buy a product to keep me healthy, but the cost that I am forcing on other people if I don’t buy the product sooner rather than later.

If Barack Obama’s health care law is overturned, it might be because he decided our health care options should be limited to the realm of commerce on the “free market” — i.e., to the for-profit insurance companies that have been ripping us off for decades. Obama should have pushed from the beginning for universal health care as a human right, or an essential component of the social contract, not as a product we must buy. (Same old question for Obama: Why did you quit on single payer and then the public option, without a fight?)

The administration isn’t likely to win an argument about the market with a squad of reactionaries — Scalia, Roberts, Thomas, Alito — and a so-called moderate (Kennedy) who often takes sides with the reactionaries.

Footnote: In case you aren’t already alarmed by this case, Michael Kinsley noted Tuesday that the reactionary members of the Supreme Court might be aiming to derail “the use of federal power under the Commerce Clause, which gives the federal government the authority to ‘regulate commerce.’ Even the 1964 Civil Rights Act is considered constitutional as a regulation of commerce.”

Posted in health care, humor, Occupy Wall Street | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Dear NYT: Why no news stories about ALEC?

Posted on March 27, 2012 by oddmanout215

[From a recent conversation with my Russian friend Sergei. We like to argue about which country is less democratic — America, or Putin’s Russia.]

No, Sergei, I’m not turning into a conspiracy theorist, and I’m not having one of my mood swings. There really is a secretive organization called the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC), financed by huge corporations and billionaires, that is helping to bust unions, kill health care reform and environmental regulations, make it harder for Democrats to vote, eliminate government aid to the poor, privatize prisons, and pass “stand your ground” laws like the one that, so far, has kept Trayvon Martin’s killer from being arrested.

ALEC really has bought many if not most of the Republicans in state legislatures around the country and, I swear to God, it actually writes the legislation that these stooges pass into law. Almost two thousand of ALEC’s members are state legislators!

ALEC wrote 50 bills, practically word-for-word, for right-wing legislators in Virginia alone. Recently, in Tennessee, it wrote a bill ordering schools to tell students that climate science is merely a “theory.” (Forget that the polar ice caps are melting!)

No, Sergei, I did not drink too much Stoli. The corrupt morons in our state legislatures are outsourcing important work to corporate interests — to the same people who funded their election campaigns.

Don’t light that stinking cigar, Sergei, and don’t tell me how bad things are in Russia. America is pretty damn close to Russia when it comes to the gap between rich and poor, and when it comes to government serving the rich and powerful at the expense of everyone else.

No, I can’t say for sure why our media — aside from a few online publications and moderately leftist print publications such as the Nation — have reported almost nothing about ALEC. There was this, from a recent New York Times editorial:

…Lawmakers who eagerly do ALEC’s bidding have much to answer for. Voters have a right to know whether the representatives they elect are actually writing the laws, or whether the job has been outsourced to big corporate interests.

Yes, voters have a right to know. So where are the news stories about the legislators who are ALEC’s puppets? Where is the multi-page Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative piece detailing the growth of this ultra-right-wing organization? Why is ALEC only mentioned out of nowhere in an editorial, or in a column by Paul Krugman?

I’m having a mood swing. Pass me the Stoli.

Posted in climate change, mainstream media, New York Times, Occupy Wall Street, The New Depression, unemployment | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

A heart for Cheney. Next, a brain for Bush.

Posted on March 25, 2012 by oddmanout215

New lease on life for renowned humanitarian

From CNN:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney was recovering Saturday evening after undergoing heart transplant surgery, his office said. Cheney, 71, had surgery at Inova Fairfax Hospital in Falls Church, Virginia. He had been on the cardiac transplant list for more than 20 months, a statement from his office said. “Although the former vice president and his family do not know the identity of the donor, they will be forever grateful for this lifesaving gift,” it said.

I’m sure Cheney’s new heart goes out to the donor. The former VP is famous for random acts of kindness and, in general, for the almost boundless love of humanity he demonstrated while making foreign policy throughout his distinguished career.

News of the transplant surely will generate millions of prayers and good wishes from the Middle East, especially from Iraq, where Cheney helped make possible the killing or maiming of hundreds of thousands of people who might otherwise have had to live out their lives under an oppressive regime.

Rumor has it that the new heart was a gift from the Emerald City — not the one in Iraq, but rather the legendary home of the Wizard of Oz, the man behind the curtain who was the model for Cheney’s style of wielding power.

Regardless of where it came from, the heart couldn’t have gone to a more deserving recipient. We will probably never know how many organs became available for transplant because of deaths resulting from those Cheney-approved interrogation techniques that did so much to help foreigners understand American exceptionalism.

I don’t know how you feel, but the transplant news does wonders for my faith in karma and justice. I’m confident it will re-affirm the belief of good Christians everywhere that God does indeed work in mysterious ways.

Posted in humor, Iraq war, mainstream media | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Eat crackers and dream

Posted on March 24, 2012 by oddmanout215

“Too Much Time” sounds like a tribute to the Stax/Volt sound, straight out of 1960s Memphis. (Beefheart wouldn’t have liked the word “tribute.”) The song is from Clear Spot (1972), one of his more “accessible” albums. Should have been a Top 10 hit:

Memorable spoken-word interlude from the desert-dwelling Beefheart:

Sometimes when it’s late/And I’m a little bit hungry/I heat up some old stale beans/Open up a can of sardines/Eat crackers and dream/About somebody to cook for me.

Posted in arts, pop music | Leave a comment

Paul Ryan is Robin Hood for the rich

Posted on March 23, 2012 by oddmanout215

Ayn Rand wasn’t a good enough fiction writer to create protagonists who were anything more than mouthpieces for her cartoonish, elitist “philosophy.” However, Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan is the word made flesh — a real-life monster of selfishness and, fittingly, a long-time worshiper of Rand.

Ryan’s budget plan, which is backed by Mitt Romney, is a tribute to Rand’s ability to inspire mean-spirited people to elevate their meanness into law.

From Truthdig:

The Ryan-Romney plan would cut taxes to the affluent and corporations, increase arms spending and cut expenditures for almost everything else, including environmental programs, child care, the Children’s Health Insurance Program, aid to college students and funding for transportation, which includes air traffic control. Medicare would be cut, the health care reform law repealed. If you think the health reform law is too kind to insurance companies, you’ll be amazed at the way Ryan-Romney lets big insurance really run things.

“In essence, this budget is Robin Hood in reverse—on steroids,” said Robert Greenstein, president of the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities. “It would likely produce the largest redistribution of income from the bottom to the top in modern U.S. history and likely increase poverty and inequality more than any other budget in recent times and possibly in the nation’s history…”

Taking from the poor and giving to the rich, how noble. If implemented, Ryan’s plan would be a big step toward creating the neo-feudalistic America that Rand envisioned, and the America that the Republican Party has been working toward for decades.

How long before the general public realizes the scope of the plan, and the depravity of those who think it’s a good thing? One can only hope the November elections will be a turning point, but don’t bet your house on it — if you’ve still got one.

Posted in Congress, economic collapse, Great Recession, The New Depression | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

‘Look, you fools, you’re in danger!’

Posted on March 22, 2012 by oddmanout215

Bill Maher can be a bore when he brags about being an atheist, and when he beats the war drum for Israel. But sometimes he makes a good point, as in this piece about misdirected outrage:

The answer to whenever another human being annoys you is not “make them go away forever.” We need to learn to coexist, and it’s actually pretty easy to do. For example, I find Rush Limbaugh obnoxious, but I’ve been able to coexist comfortably with him for 20 years by using this simple method: I never listen to his program. The only time I hear him is when I’m at a stoplight next to a pickup truck.

When the lady at Costco gives you a free sample of its new ham pudding and you don’t like it, you spit it into a napkin and keep shopping. You don’t declare a holy war on ham.

Indeed, who cares what Limbaugh says? He’s an expensive stooge for the super-rich. If it wasn’t for “outraged” liberals, I wouldn’t even know the blowhard exists.

We should save our outrage for the discreet predators who have bought both major political parties and put millions of people out of work. The modern-day robber barons who are turning America into a feudal society — a place where the poor needn’t bother even dreaming of a better life.

I’m talking about the scum who rise to the level of the Koch Brothers, and the scum who float on ponds that are only slightly less exclusive. For example, Verizon CEO Lowell McAdam, whose compensation was recently tripled — from $7.2 million to $23.1 million a year — at the same time the company was trying to cut health care and other benefits for workers. Why is Limbaugh in the news but not McAdam?

As Kevin McCarthy said in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, “Look, you fools, you’re in danger!”

Posted in economic collapse, humor, mainstream media, unemployment, Wall Street | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Yahoos to feds: We hate you, but send money

Posted on March 22, 2012 by oddmanout215

Last month I made fun of the new breed of Republican governors by posting something headlined “Federal Government for Dummies.” But the governors aren’t really dumb. They’re sly yahoos who know they can demonize “big government” as they make massive cuts in jobs and services for the poor, and in taxes on the one percent. But they can only work their con game until catastrophe strikes. From Rolling Stone:

Sometimes you stumble on a case where politics, ideology, and reality collide in a way that provides you with a strikingly clear view of the contradictions that threaten America today.

[A recent] Washington Post described a situation in the state of Louisiana where a global trend—climate change—is leading to a situation—rising sea levels—that YOYO (you’re-on-your-own) economics can’t solve.

Sea levels have been rising in Louisiana and they’re threatening to wash out a highway that’s a supply route for – wait for it – oil and gas…

…Officials in a state with an aggressive tax-cutting governor – Bobby Jindal can boast of having pushed through the largest tax cuts in the state’s history – one who consistently inveighs against government spending, are “demanding” the Feds send money.

Posted in climate change, Great Recession, Gulf, The New Depression, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Emotional weather report for March

Posted on March 21, 2012 by oddmanout215

Photo by TONY WOOD
tony@anthonywoodphotography.com

The sun is beginning to shine on me,
But it’s not like the sun that used to be.
– Bob Dylan, “Highlands”

Overheard on South Street, outside the city’s worst supermarket: “Yeah, but most South Philly people, they’re really rude and psychotic, I’ve talked to them.” Good thing he didn’t talk to this South Philly person, I hate people when they’re not polite…

I guess the beautiful weather is making me ill. A storm is blowing through my head — I’m paraphrasing Tom Waits’ “Emotional Weather Report” — just ahead of a slow-moving cold front. I’m trying to push past the storm and avoid the cold front. I feel the sunshine on my face as I ride my bike past blossoming dogwoods and blocs of sluggish pedestrians. But it’s not my sunshine; I’m in it, but not of it.

Do I feel off-kilter because the winter ended with a long stretch of sunny 70-degree days? Have I blown the internal fuse that normally makes me feel good in such weather?

The world is only a projection of how well the mind is functioning. The mind isn’t functioning well if the present feels remote and the past doesn’t feel past.

I remember moments of bliss in bad weather. Sipping coffee with a friend in 14-degree weather, waiting for an early-morning bus ride to a bad job. Carrying a futon through snow-clogged streets to a cold fourth-floor walk-up the day after my son was born.

Sometimes there’s no bliss, even in beautiful weather. Laughter sounds sad. Good food tastes bad. Memories feel like regrets.

Monday was St. Joseph’s Day, my mother’s birthday. She’s been dead a long time, but time has no meaning when the mind plays tricks. Joking about her birthday, my mother used to sing “When the Swallows Come Back to Capistrano,” recorded by the Ink Spots in 1940 and written, as Wikipedia puts it, “as a tribute to the annual springtime return of the cliff swallows to Mission San Juan Capistrano in southern California.”

She would speak of wanting to be present at the mission when the birds returned, but she never actually considered doing this. I should have put her on a plane and sent her out there.

Update from Climate Central:

The March heat wave continues to shatter longstanding records from the Upper Midwest to the Northeast, with more than 2,200 warm temperature records set during the month so far.

Posted in arts, humor, pop music, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Surging toward another snafu

Posted on March 20, 2012 by oddmanout215

Obama’s war propaganda sounds like Bush’s. Put another way, the Obamabots are as eager as the Bushies to put a good face on disaster, if that’s what it takes to keep their candidate’s poll numbers from slipping. And they get lots of help from the mainstream media. From Robert Parry:

As the Afghan War grinds toward another U.S. military defeat – on the heels of the forced departure from Iraq – Official Washington remains in denial about these failed neocon strategies, still preferring to embrace happy myths about “successful surges” and ignoring the actual outcomes.

I encountered this cognitive dissonance again Saturday morning when I was flipping the TV channels and landed on MSNBC’s “Up with Chris Hayes,” with substitute host, the Washington Post’s Ezra Klein. There was a panel of bright and attractive pundits again praising President George W. Bush’s Iraq War “surge.”

One had to wonder: Did these seemingly smart people not notice that the U.S. military was sent packing from Iraq at the end of 2011, less than three month ago? Do they not know that the giant U.S. Embassy, once meant to be a command center for imperial domination of the Middle East, sits mostly idle?

Were they oblivious to the fact that Iraq, still a shattered society afflicted by terrible sectarian violence, leans closer to Iranian foreign policy than America’s because of Bush’s invasion?

Forget the surge. Hit squads and bribery arguably had a lot more to do with the decrease in sectarian violence in Iraq than the large increase in combat troops:

A more serious analysis of what happened in Iraq in 2007-08 would trace the decline in Iraqi sectarian violence mostly to strategies that predated the “surge” and were implemented by the commanding generals in 2006, George Casey and John Abizaid, who wanted as small a U.S. “footprint” as possible, to tamp down Iraqi nationalism.

Among their initiatives, Casey and Abizaid deployed a highly classified operation to eliminate key al-Qaeda leaders, most notably the killing of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in June 2006. Casey and Abizaid also exploited growing Sunni animosities toward al-Qaeda extremists by paying off Sunni militants to join the so-called “Awakening” in Anbar Province.

If you can’t beat them, pay them off.

Posted in economic collapse, Iraq war, mainstream media | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment