William Faulkner does Super Bowl XLVII


super-bowl-lights-out-0203

[The Sound and the Fury and the outage:]

Through the drapes, between the Jell-O football trays, I could see them hitting. They were up on the picture wall, coming to where the ball was and I was looking in the window at them. Luster was hunting in the street next to the phone pole. They picked the ball up and they were hitting. Then they put the ball down and they lined up on the striped grass and the red football men hit and the black-and-white football men hit. Luster came along from the phone pole and I looked through the window while Luster hunted on the sidewalk.

The black-and-white football men hit and ran to where the striped grass ended. Quentin ate a Jell-O football and I could hear him through the window yelling at Father over the noise from the picture wall. He said, “That puts the Ravens up by 22. Your wager was ill-considered, Father.”

I looked through the window at the picture wall. The football men took a rest. A colored girl in black leather underwear sang and danced and stroked her big thighs. I could almost taste the Jell-O footballs.

“Listen at you now,” Luster said to me. “Ain’t you something, 33 years old, moaning like that. No wonder your daddy won’t let you inside. No wonder he don’t give you no Jell-O footballs.”

Then the lights went out on the picture wall and the noise stopped. Someone said “power outage at the stadium.” Mother came into the picture-wall room and asked Father to let me in from the cold and Father said, “The cold won’t hurt Benjy” and Mother sat in the chair where my sister Caddy used to sit and said “He’s a judgment on me.” Father fixed her a toddy in the dark.

“I done looked in there, Benjy,” Luster said. “Get down here in the gutter and help me find my shit before them neighbors find it.”

He was looking for his little bag of white powder. The football men were standing in the dark and looking at the sky. I listened through the window. Father said, “The past is never past, Quentin. No battle is ever won. Victory is an illusion of fools and philosophers.” Quentin said, “I hope you’re not trying to weasel out of your wager, Father.”

The light came back on in the picture wall and the red football men hit. Quentin ate a Jell-O football and jumped out of his chair and said, “Go Ravens.” But he looked sad, like he was thinking of Caddy, who ran away last year with a football man from out West.

The black-and-white football men hit. The red football men fell down. A mob rushed on to the striped grass and millions of tiny papers fell from the sky. Quentin said, “Pay up, Father, for once in your life. Quit being such a deadbeat.”

Luster rolled in the gutter. Inside, Mother sat in her armchair and cried. Father cried, too. He said to Quentin, “How about we go double or nothing on the Flyers game?”

Footnote: Apologies to Faulkner fans for the screwed-up chronology. I got my idiots mixed up.

Posted in arts, fiction, humor, mainstream media, weasel | 2 Comments

Boyz II Men to make sexy time in Russia


Russian President Vladimir Putin addressing his fellow citizens: “I have beeg announcement. American sexy band Boys II Men come to Moscow this week. Show love, comrades.”

OK, Putin didn’t exactly say that, but the Grammy-winning R&B band really is flying halfway around world on special sexy mission. From Britain’s Daily Mail:

…Putin apparently hopes to harness the all-American boyband’s raw romantic charm through a gig in Moscow to encourage their legions of Russian fans to reproduce ahead of Valentine’s Day to songs such as “I’ll Make Love To You” and “On Bended Knee.”

[skip]

Band members Wanya Morris, Shawn Stockman and Nathan Morris will take a break from their Las Vegas hotel residency and rehearsals for their upcoming tour with New Kids on the Block and 98 Degrees to perform in Moscow on February 6.

[skip]

Despite being the worlds largest country at over 6.5 million square miles, high rates of smoking, alcoholism, pollution and poverty, together with falling [birth] rates, mean Russia’s population will shrink to 116 million by 2050 from 142 million last year.

Russia also has the world’s third-largest heroin abuse rate and accounts for a third of all heroin deaths worldwide…

Funny guy, that Putin, especially for an ex-KBG agent. Maybe the Boyz will do their sappy 1992 ballad “End of the Road”: Although we’ve come/To the end of the road/Still I can’t let go/It’s unnatural/You belong to me/I belong to you.

Da! Pass bottle, Mooshka. Now we make sexy time.

Footnote: Meanwhile, America’s population is booming. President Obama should organize a special concert here to discourage reproduction, maybe with Nine Inch Nails performing Ghosts.

End note: No truth to the rumor that Pussy Riot’s Nadezhda Tolokonnikova will be released from prison in time to open the Boyz II Men show.

Posted in arts, climate change, humor, Obama, pop music | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are permatemps here to stay?


robots

One of the things I can’t stand about Barack Obama is his glib complacency regarding the job market. He’s a great talker, but I’ve never heard him make a truly impassioned speech about putting the unemployed and the underemployed back to work. Worse, I’ve never heard him convincingly argue that the downsizing of the American workforce and the declining quality of available jobs — lower wages, fewer benefits, fewer hours — are reversible.

From an op-ed by Erin Hatton, author of The Temp Economy: From Kelly Girls to Permatemps in Postwar America:

…Low-wage, temporary jobs have become so widespread that they threaten to become the norm. But for some reason this isn’t causing a scandal. At least in the business press, we are more likely to hear plaudits for “lean and mean” companies than angst about the changing nature of work for ordinary Americans.

How did we arrive at this state of affairs? Many argue that it was the inevitable result of macroeconomic forces — globalization, deindustrialization and technological change — beyond our political control. Yet employers had (and have) choices. Rather than squeezing workers, they could have invested in workers and boosted product quality, taking what economists call the high road toward more advanced manufacturing and skilled service work. But this hasn’t happened. Instead, American employers have generally taken the low road: lowering wages and cutting benefits, converting permanent employees into part-time and contingent workers, busting unions and subcontracting and outsourcing jobs. They have done so, in part, because of the extraordinary evangelizing of the temp industry, which rose from humble origins to become a global behemoth…

When you see the word permatemps, think permafrost, the name given to surfaces that remain frozen over many years until radical climate change forces widespread thawing or melting. Is this what it will take to reverse the permatemps phenomenon — a radical change in the socioeconomic climate?

Good luck with that. The entrenched two-party system in this country is owned by big business. The established parties have swung so far to the right that a timid centrist like Obama is routinely referred to as a socialist by wing-nut politicians and pundits.

Will disenfranchised workers continue to passively accept their slide into serfdom? Who knows? Hatton’s column ends on this vague note:

If we want good jobs rather than just any jobs, we need to figure out how to preserve what is useful and innovative about temporary employment while jettisoning the anti-worker ideology that has come to accompany it.

But you can’t just jettison an ideology, not when its proponents hold all the power. What if the era in which pro-worker ideologies seemed to gather momentum in America, from the the 1940s to the 1970s, was an aberration? A freakish interlude between gilded ages? What if the liberal belief in slow but steady progress is bullshit? What if I stop with all these depressing questions?

Posted in globalization, history, mainstream media, Obama, The New Depression, unemployment | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Joking about the jobless in The Times


The final destination of   your online job application

The final destination of your online job applications

There are many jerks in positions of authority, but this fact isn’t likely to hit you on a gut level unless you’re unemployed and in debt and sending resumes to that black hole in the Internet where job applications disappear.

Just ask The New York Times‘ Nelson D. Schwartz, who reminded readers on Sunday that finding a good job is entirely about who you know, not what you can do. Referrals get you good jobs, not applications to those thousands of online listings that don’t really exist for anyone who isn’t well connected:

…Indeed, as referred candidates get fast-tracked, applicants from other sources like corporate Web sites, Internet job boards and job fairs sink to the bottom of the pile.

“You’re submitting your resume to a black hole,” said John Sullivan, a human resources consultant for large companies who teaches management at San Francisco State University. “You’re not going to find top performers at a job fair. Whether it’s fair or not, you need to have employees make referrals for you if you want to find a job.”

Among corporate recruiters, Mr. Sullivan said, random applicants from Internet job sites are sometimes referred to as “Homers,” after the lackadaisical, doughnut-eating Homer Simpson. The most desirable candidates, nicknamed “purple squirrels” because they are so elusive, usually come recommended.

“We call it Monster.ugly,” said Mr. Sullivan, referring to Monster.com. “In the H.R. world, applicants from Monster or other job boards carry a stigma…”

A witty fellow, this John Sullivan. Probably the sort of guy who pulled wings off flies and burned ants with a magnifying glass when he was a kid. Just think of all the suckers on the brink of bankruptcy or foreclosure who spend hours a day job-hunting online, unaware that corporate jerks are dumping their applications into the “Homer” bin.

OK, the fact that online job searches are a waste isn’t news to the long-term unemployed, but Schwartz’s peek at the jerks on the other end of the application process should be a wake-up call for the have-nots in this country.

To recruiters, you’re either a purple squirrel or a Homer who looks for work on Monster.ugly If you are one of the latter — i.e., one of the vast majority of the unemployed — you are never going to find another good job, no matter how much the economy recovers. The so-called recovery is directly related to the fact that payrolls have been drastically and permanently cut. All the networking in the world won’t change this fact.

All of which is perfectly obvious, and apparently funny, to the John Sullivans of the world.

Posted in economic collapse, globalization, humor, mainstream media, The New Depression, unemployment | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What John Mackey can do with his vegan stir-fry


boycott-whole-foods-market

Oh, the ironies of the Obama era! Last week John Mackey denounced Obamacare as “like fascism.” This was a few years after damning it as socialism. The Whole Foods co-CEO doesn’t see, or pretends to not see, that Obamacare is a gift to hospital chains and health insurance companies — corporate monsters, just like Whole Foods. Under Obamacare, the government doesn’t control “the means of production” in health care, as Mackey charged. It merely ensures that Aetna and the other companies remain a wastefully expensive obstacle to health care for most Americans.

But enough about the big chief, it’s the day after the inauguration, let him enjoy his eloquently empty promises. Let’s dwell on the ironic fact that Mackey, a right-wing, low-paying, union-busting, small business-killing, Romney-endorsing, climate change-denying megalomaniac is one of the the most well-known advocates of organic foods.

It’s one thing — a good thing — to support farmers’ markets and independent health-food stores, but anyone who thinks of him/herself as a progressive and shops at Whole Foods is a hypocrite or just D-U-M dumb. Mackey’s organic foods chain is eating up all the smaller stores and paying rank-and-file workers next to nothing. When it comes to labor relations, Whole Foods is about as progressive as Walmart.

Mackey was in The New York Times Magazine this week, bragging about his vegan diet and describing a recent meal he made for himself, a vegan stir-fry that included kale, chard, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, a walnut-cashew-based dressing and almond milk. The sort of foods most people who get paid Whole Foods-level wages couldn’t possibly afford on a regular basis unless their other expenses were minimal and they were receiving food stamps.

Bottom line: I like to eat healthy, when I can afford to, but I’d rather buy lunch from a grungy hot dog vendor than from the cold-blooded plutocrat who runs Whole Foods. He’s a multimillionaire, well-fed and fit, but all the vegan stir-fry in the world won’t cure what ails him.

Footnote: Mackey later said he regretted using the word fascism in regard to Obamacare, but he clearly remains confused. Someone should send him reading material for when he’s not puttering around the kitchen. Maybe a Political Science 101 textbook.

Posted in climate change, dirty rotten scoundrels, food, health care, humor, mainstream media, The New Depression | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A rear-view glance at Lance


Between Lance Armstrong admitting he was doping and Jodie Foster coming out as a lesbian, it has been a rough week for the clueless. — Bill Mayer, Real Time, Jan. 18

I groan when the corporate media declare a new villain of the week, seemingly to distract us from the truly awful people who are rewarded for undermining what used to be called the common good.

Sure, Lance Armstrong is a sociopath, a guy who’d bike over his own grandma to win the big prize. But sports fans who were paying attention knew this years ago, without Oprah’s help. And yes, Lance is a liar, but there are many liars in public life, and how foul are his lies compared to Dubya’s WMD con game, or Jamie Dimon’s claim that JP Morgan never needed or asked for the $25 billion in TARP money that kept it from going bust?

The major villains in this country — banksters and corporate bosses — don’t ‘fess up to Oprah or anyone else. They hover above the law in glass-and-steel towers figuring out how to make more millions to hide offshore while putting more and more Americans out of work. They lie and steal with impunity — i.e., with full cooperation from the U.S. government — and then suggest that working stiffs who retire at age 65 and collect Social Security are being coddled.

Somehow, the corporate media never get around to reporting the scope of the banksters’ crimes, or the extent to which corporate CEOs and their friends in D.C. have gone to enrich themselves at the expense of workers in a job market that gets smaller and weaker with each passing year.

Instead, reporters attach themselves to frauds like Lance and Barry Bonds, and freaks like Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan. They feed us soap operas and morality tales about “celebrities,” ignoring any facts that might spoil the celebrity stories before they run their course.

It turns out that heroic Lance was doping — a shocker! — and it’s time for his public comeuppance. He and our other fallen celebrity heroes have important ritual roles to play. They are stand-ins for the truly vile — people like Dimon and his fellow chief executive gamblers on Wall Street who will never be formally accused, let alone brought to justice, for the economic disaster caused by what Matt Taibbi called their “greed, shortsightedness and – most notably – wildly irresponsible use of debt in pursuit of personal profit.”

Even more than in other eras, the news business today is about encouraging us to cheer and boo cartoonish heroes and villains — to keep our minds off the truly dangerous bad guys, the ones with the power to create a permanent underclass where a middle class used to be.

Clarification: I’m not saying the Lance Armstrong story — ruthless, creepy cancer survivor cheats his way to the top and uses his fame to raise great sums for cancer patients — isn’t worth telling. I can’t wait for the TV movie, maybe with Lohan as Cheryl Crowe, singing “Every Day Is a Winding Road” while Lance is having a blood transfusion on the floor of his tour bus.

I’m just wondering what happened to the quaint idea that a free press, by definition, should insist on an adversarial relationship with government, big business and the financial industry, in order to make sure Americans don’t become too clueless to realize when they’re being oppressed.

Posted in bicycling, dirty rotten scoundrels, economic collapse, humor, liar, mainstream media, The New Depression, unemployment, Wall Street | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

‘Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto’


Listen, people: The word “ghetto” dates to 16th- or 17th-century Venice, where Jews were restricted to living on an island near a foundry that produced a lot of ghet, or waste products. Or is it simply derived from borghetto — “little borough”? Help me, mothers and soul brothers, Wikipedia and various dictionaries are a bit vague on this.

“Ghetto” became a tag for any inner-city area dominated by a particular racial or ethnic group. By the 1960s, the usage usually was for urban areas in America where poor blacks were crammed. Brown was born in a rural setting, but he grew up poor as any big-city kid: Tell ’em James Brown sent you, huh/And go straight to the ghetto/You know that I know what you will see/’Cause that was once… me.

“Ghetto” is more often used these days as an adjective describing a narrow frame of mind — “That girl is so ghetto” — than as a geographical term. Which is not to say there’s less poverty now than in the 1960s.

Never mind. There’s nothing ghetto about “Santa Claus Go Straight To the Ghetto.” It’s funky, funny and wise, and has a very cool guitar lick that reminds me of “Highway 61 Revisited.” Hit it! Hit it!

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Happy First Day After the Solstice!


Some people work very hard,
But still they never get it right.
Well I’m beginning to see the light.

Dec. 21 was the winter solstice, the shortest and dreariest day. The world seemed a dark, pitiless place where you couldn’t find a glimmer of hope, or even a cheap cup of coffee. Was the the end of days upon us, as the Mayan calendar allegedly predicted?

solstice 2
I woke up today and the world was still here, which made me feel even worse until I remembered this is the second shortest day, that the days grow longer from now to the first day of summer, that I shouldn’t feel bad about feeling bad this time of year.

I remembered that the solstice marks the return of the light, and so what if the fiscal cliff and environmental disaster loom. So what if people are walking around in football jerseys, babbling to themselves or their hidden phones. The doors of perception are opening. Soon we’ll see the light, and the divine plan will be clearer.

And I said, oh shit, maybe we’re better off in the dark.

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In guns we trust


Frank Rich says America’s love affair with guns is something that will have to be chipped away at; that guns…

…have always been intrinsic to the very idea of America and “freedom” – enshrined in our Constitution’s Second Amendment (however one chooses to read it), romanticized in our glorification of both our revolutionary and frontier past, and a staple of our popular culture not just in this era but every era: from James Fenimore Cooper’s The Deerslayer and Buffalo Bill’s Wild West shows through The Birth of a Nation, Zane Grey, Stagecoach and The Wild Bunch, gangster movies and gangsta rap, Bonnie and Clyde and Zero Dark Thirty, The Untouchables and The Sopranos

Exactly. One of my favorite movies is Sam Peckinpah’s The Wild Bunch, because it’s beautifully filmed, features some great old actors, and is imbued with a healthy contempt for big business and its role in corrupting American government. I know Peckinpah’s gun-slinging outlaws are romanticized, but I prefer them to the so-called captains of industry who ended up owning this country and exploiting most of its workers.

Rich used the phrase “gun-worship” at one point, so I wasn’t surprised when, a few sentences later, he referenced the excellent column in which Garry Wills explained why it is so hard to get through to the “guns don’t kill people — people do” crowd:

The gun is not a mere tool, a bit of technology, a political issue, a point of debate. It is an object of reverence. Devotion to it precludes interruption with the sacrifices it entails. Like most gods, it does what it will, and cannot be questioned. Its acolytes think it is capable only of good things. It guarantees life and safety and freedom. It even guarantees law. Law grows from it. Then how can law question it?

Its power to do good is matched by its incapacity to do anything wrong. It cannot kill. Thwarting the god is what kills. If it seems to kill, that is only because the god’s bottomless appetite for death has not been adequately fed. The answer to problems caused by guns is more guns, millions of guns, guns everywhere, carried openly, carried secretly, in bars, in churches, in offices, in government buildings. Only the lack of guns can be a curse, not their beneficent omnipresence.

Wills is right, of course. Gun zealots are death-obsessed and paranoid. On the other hand, it’s hard to explain away their contention that government for the rich and powerful, at the expense of the rest of us, is no good.

Rich again:

If we are going to start to find our way out of gun-worship, it’s going to take many leaders over time to affect that change, just as in, say, the abolitionists’ movement or any other major political or social movement that changed our country and helped it grow up.

Right, Frank, but where are those leaders? Arguably, gun-worship in contemporary America is mostly about feelings of impotence; an admission that all our other gods — democracy, the free market, the justice system — have failed. So far as I can see, the leaders in our dismal two-party system, whether for or against gun control, merely reinforce those feelings.

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Media make a killing on massacre in CT


My e-mail yesterday included links to the “most recommended content about the Connecticut school shooting from the Daily Kos community.” Forgive me, Daily Kos, for not reading the articles. I’m sure the writers had good intentions, but only so much light can be shed when the story is about carnage, especially when most of the victims are children. What’s the point of reading about a massacre, once you’re aware of the basic facts? (And yes, I know, it took the media a while to get the facts straight.)

Titillation is the point. The news peddlers know we can’t resist stories in which gruesome things happen to people for no good reason. We gawk at the wreckage and think oh, those poor children, they could have been my children, I’m so glad they weren’t!

Before long the news peddlers are milking the story for all it’s worth, with photos of slaughtered kids, and interviews with their classmates and relatives. Yes, but how does it make you feel knowing Joey was shot in the face a mere 10 feet from where you were standing?

The news peddlers stoke our pity and fear, because that’s where the money is. In this regard they’re a lot like the gun merchants, who stoke our fear then peddle the idea that assault weapons will keep us safe. I’m thinking of words on the Web site of the company that made the rifle used by the killer in Connecticut:

With a Bushmaster for security and home defense, you can sleep tight knowing that your loved ones are protected. Bushmaster offers everything you need to ensure the safety of you and your family. Our high-quality pistols, carbines, and rifles are extremely reliable, easy to shoot, and include lightweight carbon models that are perfect for women. And with their intimidating looks, all Bushmasters make a serious impression. Any gun will make an intruder think. A Bushmaster will make them think twice.

.

A friend of mine posted the gun maker’s message on Facebook yesterday. I wouldn’t be surprised if the person who wrote it is a former reporter.

Footnote: And please don’t tell me media coverage will help us reach a tipping point in the struggle to impose stricter gun control laws. That’s like saying politicians are getting ready to become less corrupt.

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