Russian President Vladimir Putin addressing his fellow citizens: “I have beeg announcement. American sexy band Boys II Men come to Moscow this week. Show love, comrades.”
OK, Putin didn’t exactly say that, but the Grammy-winning R&B band really is flying halfway around world on special sexy mission. From Britain’s Daily Mail:
…Putin apparently hopes to harness the all-American boyband’s raw romantic charm through a gig in Moscow to encourage their legions of Russian fans to reproduce ahead of Valentine’s Day to songs such as “I’ll Make Love To You” and “On Bended Knee.”
Band members Wanya Morris, Shawn Stockman and Nathan Morris will take a break from their Las Vegas hotel residency and rehearsals for their upcoming tour with New Kids on the Block and 98 Degrees to perform in Moscow on February 6.
Despite being the worlds largest country at over 6.5 million square miles, high rates of smoking, alcoholism, pollution and poverty, together with falling [birth] rates, mean Russia’s population will shrink to 116 million by 2050 from 142 million last year.
Russia also has the world’s third-largest heroin abuse rate and accounts for a third of all heroin deaths worldwide…
Funny guy, that Putin, especially for an ex-KBG agent. Maybe the Boyz will do their sappy 1992 ballad “End of the Road”: Although we’ve come/To the end of the road/Still I can’t let go/It’s unnatural/You belong to me/I belong to you.
Da! Pass bottle, Mooshka. Now we make sexy time.
Footnote: Meanwhile, America’s population is booming. President Obama should organize a special concert here to discourage reproduction, maybe with Nine Inch Nails performing Ghosts.
End note: No truth to the rumor that Pussy Riot’s Nadezhda Tolokonnikova will be released from prison in time to open the Boyz II Men show.