Quake-damaged phallic landmark needs TLC


Soon after the recent earthquake, a talking head joked that the Washington Monument had been damaged, but no one was sure yet if it was leaning left or right. Turns out there really are cracks in this symbol of American might and Masonic mysticism:

Shortly after the rare 5.8 earthquake in Virginia rattled Washington D.C. Tuesday, a Park Service spokesman said there was “absolutely no damage” to the Washington Monument. A more thorough assessment discovered a crack in the landmark. Not long after, additional damage was found, including three or four “significant” cracks. The monument has been closed indefinitely for further inspection and repairs, which will take at least a few weeks, according to The Washington Times. Robert Vogel, superintendent of the National Mall and Memorial, said in a statement: “The Washington Monument is one of America’s most important landmarks, and we will do whatever it takes to ensure that it is restored completely and correctly.”

The monument was not the only structure affected. The National Cathedral sustained damage worth an estimated millions in repairs.

I can’t wait to see what our latest disaster, Hurricane Irene, has in store.

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1 Response to Quake-damaged phallic landmark needs TLC

  1. Pingback: Suburban Guerrilla » Blog Archive » Quake-damaged phallic landmark needs TLC

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