I needed caffeine badly, so I stopped in a vegan coffee shop — soy milk only — and ordered a macchiato. Reading the menu board, I noticed the seitan sandwich and asked the barista if this item was inspired by U.S. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver’s recent description of the Obama-Boehner debt-deal disaster as “a sugar-coated Satan sandwich.”
The barista gave me a blank state and said the seitan sandwich has been on the shop’s menu for quite a while. She’d never heard of Cleaver, and probably didn’t know about the debt deal either.
In case you’re wondering, seitan is wheat gluten (starch-free) and is an alternative to that other meat substitute, tofu.
Clarification: I’m not a vegan, for many reasons. One is that vegans seem to be as irony-free as Bruce Springsteen fans. The latter’s fan club is another cult I don’t like, although Springsteen himself was cool back in 1975.
Odd Man Out 
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No self-respecting wolf would even consider becoming a vegan. Eating one, perhaps. But becoming one? No.
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Most of them are too gnarly looking, not very appetizing.
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Discussing politics with vegans is always a mistake. The range of their political interests extends no further than Obama (pro) and animal abolitionism (http://www.abolitionistapproach.com/.) You probably confused her by your use of the word cleaver – an implement used to hack up dead animals.
BTW, you can also get almond or coconut milk. Skip the soy, it’ll make you girly http://www.menshealth.com/nutrition/soys-negative-effects
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Almond milk is fab!
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