The Onion’s Obama birthday joke was satire, but only in the lamest sense of the word:

After months of heated negotiations and failed attempts to achieve any kind of consensus, President Obama turned 50 years old Thursday, drawing strong criticism from Republicans in Congress. “With the host of problems this country is currently facing, the fact that our president is devoting time to the human process of aging is an affront to Americans everywhere,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who advocated a provision to keep Obama 49 at least through the fall of 2013. “To move forward unilaterally and simply begin the next year of his life without bipartisan support—is that any way to lead a country?” According to White House officials, Obama attempted to work with Republicans right up until the Aug. 4 deadline, but was ultimately left with no choice except to turn a year older.

Here’s how the piece would read if the writer had acknowledged what happened this week in Washington, D.C.:

President Obama tried to turn 50 years old Thursday, drawing strong criticism from Republicans in Congress. Democrats protested the GOP’s criticism but then, at the eleventh hour, joined it in a resolution calling for creation of a supercommittee to examine whether or not Obama should reach the big 5-0.

This was soon after Dems conferred with Obama himself, who said, “There’s no reason goods folks shouldn’t be able to agree on this issue, regardless of party affiliation. Therefore, in the interest of moving this country forward, I have agreed to put off turning 50, at least until the 2012 elections are completed. May God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America.”