Great story out of Kansas regarding attempts to intimidate Emma Sullivan, an 18-year-old girl who insulted wing-nut Gov. Sam Brownback in a message to her Twitter friends.

The principal of the high school Emma attends ordered her to send the governor a letter apologizing for her nasty remark. I’ll write the apology for her, if she wants. It would go something like this:

Dear Gov. Brownback,

I’m sorry for pretending I told you that you “sucked” when you appeared in Topeka. My tweet was a lie, I never spoke to you personally.

However, the fact is, you do suck, and I should have said so to your face. You vetoed the Kansas Arts Commission’s budget, making Kansas the only state to eliminate arts funding. You can afford to employ snitches who monitor social media for postings that mention your name (hello, snitch!), but you say we can’t afford to fund arts classes? You expect us to believe that?

I used the word “sucked” because I was tweeting. If I’d had room, I would have mentioned not only the arts budget but also that you cosponsored a bill that would have reduced the power of federal courts to rule on church/state issues. We live in the Bible Belt, sir. I’m glad federal courts can rule on such issues.

You also suck because of your involvement with the sinister Christian-advocacy group The Fellowship, and because you tried to close the Lawrence branch of the Kansas Department of Social and Rehabilitation Services, and because you rejected a $31.5 million grant from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to set up an insurance exchange to help enable the federal health care reform law. If you’re a Christian, then maybe we’d be better off with a pagan governor.

I could list more reasons why you suck, but I’d need a whole book to contain them, not a letter. I’d be happy to discuss with you why you are so suck-y, preferably in a public forum. However, I have no intention of apologizing. Apologies should be sincere, and they shouldn’t be offered to people who are insincere.

Have a nice day.

Update: Brownback apologizes to Sullivan! His PR department must have had second thoughts about making an issue of the fact that he sucks. But Brownback’s snitches are still out there, reporting on everyone else who mentions his name on the Internet.