Swamp Rabbit: Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Odd Man Out: Alright, what’s so funny?

Swamp Rabbit: The grand jury didn’t meet on Wednesday, so Trump tweeted that “the Rogue prosecutor… is having a hard time with the Grand Jury” because he’s trying to make a case that “CAN’T BE BROUGHT.” But Trump got indicted the very next day, March 30. The D.A. faked him out. Sort of a pre-April Fools’ Day joke. You don’t think that’s funny?

Odd Man Out: Sure, but don’t laugh too loud. Trump has been a cruel, greedy hustler his whole life, but he’s always managed to slither out of legal jams. Just because he’s the first ex-president ever charged with a crime doesn’t mean he’ll get convicted. We don’t even know what the charges are yet.

Swamp Rabbit: I forgot — when there’s a ray of sunshine, you focus on the dark clouds. Lighten up. Here, have a beer.

Odd Man Out: No thanks. He should have been indicted years ago. He had sex with Stormy Daniels in 2006 and used Michael Cohen to pay her 130K to hush up about it when he ran for president in 2016. He reimbursed Cohen for the payoff. Cohen got jailed and helped investigators follow the paper trail back to Trump. And then there are all those bigger crimes! It’s 2023. What took them so long?

Swamp Rabbit: They had to fight to get Trump’s business records and evidence that he used campaign funds for the payback to Cohen, I think. They had to find other witnesses besides Cohen, a convicted felon. It ain’t easy hanging charges on an ex-president, especially one who can pay millions for defense lawyers.

Odd Man Out: Exactly. I’m just a humble scribe and you’re even more humble than I am. If it were us, we’d be rotting in some dungeon in the Great White North. But Trump still has millions of ignorant supporters, some as poor as we are. He despises them. They worship him. Republican politicians still back him. They’re just as corrupt as he is.

Swamp Rabbit: Them justice wheels turn real slow. He’s gonna be indicted for Jan. 6 and for election-law tampering in Georgia, too, but not until them investigators are sure they got the goods.

Odd Man Out: I’ll believe it when I see it. This guy is a human dumpster; 76 years old and he’s still spilling over the side with garbage. He might be in his 80s if and when he stands trial for something, What kind of justice is that?

Swamp Rabbit: Slow justice is better than no justice, I guess. You sure you don’t want a beer? How about a chill pill?