Trumpers love whales. Who knew?


We were discussing the rumor that whales are being killed by sonar emanating from offshore wind turbines in the northeastern part of the country.

Swamp Rabbit explained: The world is like a big house with a crawl space in the basement. Squeeze yourself through this space and you find yourself in Bizarro World, where up means down and left means right, etc. Kooks live there, and paranoids. People who think Hillary runs a baby-killing ring, and Covid-19 was started by Anthony Fauci, and JFK Jr. has risen from the dead.

“He came back in Dallas, right?” I said. “QAnon threw a party for him.”

For a long time, the word among the kooks was that birds were being driven to extinction by wind turbines. Then a new rumor sprang up everywhere all at once, like that silly movie that won all the Oscars. Kooks began shouting “Save the whales,” even at places like the Philadelphia Flower Show.

None of the major news outlets blamed wind turbines for whale deaths, but clean energy fans knew something shady was going on. They were being denounced by know-nothings who previously hadn’t shown the slightest interest in the fate of whales or any other species. But who lured the know-nothings into Bizarro World? Who’s peddling the bullshit?

“That ain’t no mystery,” Swamp Rabbit said. “The whale-killing rumor comes from the same source as the clean coal lie and friendly fracking. From the creeps who run the fossil fuel industry who wanna block them renewables. They got deep pockets.”

I shook my head. “That’s crazy. This week there were a million news stories stating there’s zero evidence that turbines are killing whales. The surge in deaths predates the presence of offshore turbines. They’re being killed by ships and fishing nets. The regular media have finally caught up with the bullshit.”

“There ain’t no catching up,” Swamp Rabbit said. “A lie is halfway round the world before the truth has got its boots on. Joe Goebbels said that, I think. Or Rupert Murdoch.”

He reminded me that the wind turbine haters are fully revved up in places like the South Jersey shore, a stronghold for Trumpers and other climate-denying kooks. Down there, they think hateful frauds like Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity are credible. More importantly, they have access to Facebook, the go-to spot for lazy paranoids who love misinformation.

“I don’t know if Goebbels liked wind turbines,” Swamp Rabbit said. “But he would have loved Facebook.”

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3 Responses to Trumpers love whales. Who knew?

  1. Sterling Brown says:

    Odd Man speaks directly to what’s going on. Unfortunately, what’s going on is often insane, stupid and delusional. 

    Like

    • oddmanout215 says:

      Thanks a lot for commenting. I’m trying to get back on track while I crank out queries for the new novel. I think the queries are getting better as I become more familiar with the agents’ current buzzwords. A lot of them profess to be seeking “genre-bending” novels. Not “gender-bending,” although that’s also popular. Maybe I should call the novel a gender-bending genre bender.

      Like

      • Sterling Brown says:

        Dave, I think that’s a really good query letter. I don’t see how you could improve on it, unless you mention the $10,000 in unmarked bills you’re sending. 

        Like

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