I wanted to raise a glass Wednesday to the 50th anniversary of Earth Day, but Swamp Rabbit only wanted to lament the ironies of the occasion:

• The Earth Day anniversary calls for a big celebration, but it’s not happening because the coronavirus pandemic has made getting together in crowds too dangerous.

• The air in this country is a lot cleaner this month, but only because so many cars are off the road and so many businesses closed due to virus-related quarantines. And the orange hog monster in the White House just took action to lower fuel economy standards for automobiles, so don’t count on cleaner air in the long run.

• Wild animals are roaming some city streets, but (again) only because of street-clearing quarantines. Don’t count on wildlife to make a comeback anytime soon. Count on global warming and human overpopulation to push wildlife into smaller and smaller confines. And count on human encroachment to cause more viral pandemics.

“Enough of your cheap ironies,” I said. “Give some credit to the visionaries who created Earth Day. They were in the vanguard of all efforts to stop polluting the planet.”

Swamp Rabbit shook his head. “If you think most peeps are serious about stopping pollution, then you probably think hydroxychloroquine cures virus victims.”

“Don’t be a defeatist,” I said. “Most people create a whole lot more dirt than they clean up, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to save the planet. They just haven’t made the right changes yet.”

I mentioned the slow transition to renewable energy that’s underway all over the world. Coal will be dead soon. Fracking companies are losing money. Even blowhards like financial analyst Jim Cramer are talking like environmentalists.

Swamp Rabbit wasn’t convinced. He reminded me that Congress is still subsidizing the dirt bags who make dirty fuel, and that the disaffected masses in the MAGA coalition are still following the hog monster’s advice.

“I don’t know about that, rabbit. He just suggested that mainlining disinfectant might be another good treatment for the virus.”

“OK, they won’t follow him on that,” Swamp Rabbit conceded. “But they’d be happy if the Democrats did.”