The flu bug latched on last weekend at the Farm Show and flattened me when I got back to the shack. My bones were creaky and my head was on fire, so I chugged NyQuil and climbed onto my hammock to sweat it out.
My swamp cats, Thoughts and Prayers, stretched out next to me. I was hoping for the bliss of sleep but what I got was a 24-hour nightmare about some orange-faced freak who became president despite losing the election by three million votes.
The freak mocked a disabled person on camera and bragged about being a pussy grabber. He used donations to a charity to pay his legal fees and campaign funds to prop up his ailing businesses. Published a book called The Art of the Deal during a ten-year period in which his businesses lost more than a billion dollars. Was fined $25 million for swindling attendees of his fake university. Retained the unwavering support of white evangelicals who ignored ample evidence of his corruption and bigotry. Separated immigrant children from their parents and jailed the children. Sabotaged the EPA as the climate emergency worsened.
I got up twice. The nightmare grew darker each time I went back to sleep. The freak threatened to start a war with North Korea, a nuclear power. Escaped criminal charges despite obstructing an investigation into his intimate relationship with a foreign dictator who interfered with U.S. elections. Was impeached for the attempted extortion of the president of Ukraine. Retained the unwavering support of almost all Republican senators who will serve as jurors at his Senate trial. Dashed hope of Mideast peace by ordering the assassination of Qasem Soleimani, the second most powerful figure in Iran.
The next day I was still sick but back on my feet. Swamp Rabbit dropped by with some stale biscuits. “I dreamed that an orange hog monster became president and was trying to destroy the world,” I told him. “Thank God that’s over.”
“That weren’t no dream and it ain’t over,” Swamp Rabbit said. “It’s only just begun.”
Unfortunately, dreams do sometimes come true.