Swamp Rabbit’s parole officer, Victor Cortez, dropped by a few days ago and quickly started jabbering about current events. He was upset because Donald Trump had claimed the killing of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi by U.S. forces was a great triumph for Donald Trump.
“Trump gave final approval for the raid,” I said to Victor. “Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Not really,” he replied, noting that Trump had nothing to do with the planning of the al-Baghdadi hit. If anything, he jeopardized the impending operation when he let Turkish dictator Recep Tayyip Erdoğan talk him into a withdrawal of American troops from Northern Syria and a betrayal of the Kurds, who had done most of the fighting against ISIS.
Then Trump dashed his chance to look presidential, Victor said, by lying about the circumstances of al-Baghdadi’s death (“[He] died like a dog. He died like a coward.”) and by claiming the al-Baghdadi hit was the “biggest” ever, more significant than the killing of Osama bin Laden.
I wondered aloud if Trump and his flunkies would spin his ongoing impeachment saga with the same vigor they brought to the al-Baghdadi story. Trump could justifiably boast “This will be the biggest impeachment ever. Clinton didn’t come close to being convicted. Nixon didn’t even hang around long enough to be impeached.”
At that moment Swamp Rabbit emerged from the swamp and approached my shack for his weekly check-in with Victor. “Trump ain’t gonna get convicted by the Senate,” he predicted. “But I’m looking forward to him losing the election then getting hit with criminal charges.”
“He could spin that, too,” I said, handing him a Kit Kat for Halloween. “Trump could say he’s the biggest American politician to ever face criminal charges after leaving office.”
“Damn right,” Swamp Rabbit replied. “Then after he gets convicted and tossed in the slammer he could say ‘I’m the biggest federal inmate ever, bigger than Al Capone. They treat me like a king in here. My cellmates have to settle for ratburgers, but I get Big Macs with cheese.”
I said, “Big Macs in jail? That’s far-fetched, rabbit.”
“The idea of Trump getting elected in 2016 was far-fetched, too,” he replied. “Look how that turned out.”