President Obama was at the Jersey shore yesterday to signal support for those who got slammed by Frankenstorm. If I lived there and Barry came to my door, I’d ask for help but expect him to say, “We’re gonna see a lot more freak storms like this, thanks to global warming. Why the hell do you live on a barrier island?”

No, seriously, I’d thank him for staying on the job even though the election is next week, and for not staging political rallies disguised as charity events. (I’m thinking of cheesy Mitt Romney, collecting canned goods in Ohio, refusing to admit that he’s the guy who vowed to get rid of FEMA.) I’d remind Obama that he’s in a tight race because he seemed in his first term to be more concerned with bailing out Wall Street crooks than with helping create jobs. I’d assure him that he has my vote, but only because his opponent is a human/robot hybrid programmed to tell dangerous lies.

What would you say to Barry?