The ad was shown during the Super Bowl, to make sure it reached the maximum number of sophisticates. The girl in the ad is a famous foreign model — “super-hot,” as they say on the sports radio stations. You know she’s hot stuff because the background music sounds like someone is having sex, or maybe shooting meth. The model recites the ad copy:

Guyz, Valentine’s Day izz not that complicated… Give, and you shall receive.

Subtle! Izz like this, guyz: Valentine’s Day is about goods and services. You give me the goods — cash is best — and you shall be serviced.

She was supposed to be selling flowers, but her message would be the same if she were a politician courting campaign contributors. Izz like this, guyz — you give to super PAC, I service you till next election. Then you give more. Happy Valentine’s Day night!