Jackie Gleason does his Chris Christie impression

… Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I’ll take it that way.

— New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie reacting to President Barack Obama’s use of the phrase “big things”

Who’s more contemptible, Christie or Obama? The former is a bully, but the latter is the sort of eager conciliator who gives the whole pizza to the bully before the bully even asks for a slice. (No fat jokes, I promise.)

Read Obama’s recent pronouncements about fiscal policy. He agrees with Christie, in that part of his plan to get the economy back on track is to make like Herbert Hoover and cut services to the poor and middle class.

Obama and Christie are so alike, they’ve used variations on the same political slogan — “We do big things.” Christie has accused Obama of stealing this vacuous slogan and therefore must think it’s clever.

Obama did indeed say, “We do big things” in his Jan. 27 State of the Union address. The slogan was supposed to inspire, but it’s merely a reminder of his failure to do basic things, such as creating jobs programs for the long-term unemployed. He doesn’t promise a New Deal, a Fair Deal, or a Square Deal. He sees no New Frontier looming, and his idea of a Great Society, if his budget plan is an indication, is one percent of the population controlling the country’s wealth and offshoring American jobs.

Christie reacted to Obama’s speech by claiming he, the loud-mouthed governor, was the first guy to promise big things, back on Jan. 11. Not surprisingly, the big things on Christie’s agenda — cuts in pension and health benefit costs, and so-called educational reform — do nothing but reflect his small-mindedness. He’s in the forefront of the Republican movement to break unions and all other opponents of government run by the obscenely wealthy.

Read about Christie accepting the Lincoln Award at the Union League in Philadelphia (as if today’s Republicans have anything in common with Abraham Lincoln). Remember the video of him bullying a schoolteacher who asked him why he’s against tax cuts for the wealthy but thinks it’s OK to squeeze everyone else.

And realize this is what it’s come down to — a choice between Obama, a Democrat in name only, and Christie, an unfunny version of Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden on The Honeymooners. A lot of sound and fury signifying nothing but absolute loyalty to his wealthy backers.

Will voters catch on? I guess we’ll find out if and when a third party emerges before the 2012 elections.