Free Luigi! And don’t forget to buy yams.

Posted on December 18, 2024 by oddmanout215

Swamp Rabbit had corralled my laptop and was scrolling through the daily news. “I don’t see nothin’ about Luigi Mangione, the guy who snuffed that millionaire CEO. Did some other killer bump him out of the news cycle?”

“He just got charged with first-degree murder,” I said. “People are still talking about him. You’d know this if you’d been at Clark Park last weekend.”

I was referring to the site of a popular farmers market in West Philly. A bearded guy who looked like Karl Marx was there, hawking a newspaper called The Communist and shouting “Free Luigi! Join the Communists.” He was capitalizing — pardon the expression — on the notoriety of a fellow radical, Mangione, whose memes have been all over the Internet.

Meanwhile, the other vendors were selling fruit and vegetables, poinsettias and little Christmas trees and so on, but business was slow because of the cold. I thought about approaching them to suggest they borrow a leaf from the Communist’s book and use Mangione as a sales tool. I could hear them in my head:

“Free Luigi! Eat your Brussels sprouts.”

“Free Luigi! What’s Christmas without a tree?”

“Free Luigi! Happy holidays! Don’t forget your yams.”

Swamp Rabbit pretended to be appalled. “How can you joke about the killer of a good family man? And so what that he was the boss of UnitedHealthcare, a giant for-profit healthcare company that routinely lets sick and desperate Americans die instead of approving the necessary medical coverage?”

I showed Swamp Rabbit a recent piece in the New Yorker that examined the American tendency to elevate certain criminals to folk-hero status — Jesse James, Pretty Boy Floyd, et al. — based on the idea that they rob from the rich (and kill) in defense of the poor. This would help explain Mangione’s current popularity.

“Look at it this way,” I said. “Luigi might not be a genuine hero any more than Pretty Boy Floyd was, but he seems to have more moral sense than your average CEO.”

Footnote: I had just listened to Pete Seeger’s live version of Woody Guthrie’s “Pretty Boy Floyd.” Now, as through this world you wander/You’ll see lots of funny men/Some will rob you with a six-gun/And some with a fountain pen…

Another: So what is Mangione all about? His reading list indicates he’s far from being a Commie. He’s not a nihilist. He’s not a liberal. Is he merely confused? Some have described his views as “heterodox,” a buzzword for the leanings of those who don’t conform to either the left or right. Your guess is as good as mine.

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Bernie was right. (Wake up, Dems!)

Posted on November 11, 2024 by oddmanout215

My neighbor Swamp Rabbit took a moment to read the quote-out on my laptop, from an interview with PEN/Faulkner Award-winning novelist Joseph O’Neill:

My sense is that, in this era of the Internet, there are millions more fascists in this country than people think, young men in particular. And I believe that many more millions are fascinated by Trump not for his supposed business prowess but for his transparent wish to hurt others. He is an evil guy, a villain—and many Americans are excited by it. Harris and the Democrats, by contrast, are boring, boring, boring. In this sense, the election was like a choice between four more years of church or four years of violent entertainment. Nihilistic consumerism, as much as authoritarianism, prevailed.

“He sounds like you,” Swamp Rabbit said. “I like the phrase ‘nihilistic consumerism.’ That sums up the MAGA crowd pretty good.”

I told him to read the rest of the interview. It’s more than a diagnosis. It’s the first post-election piece I’ve read that doesn’t make me feel like all is lost regarding democracy in America:

New tactics will have to be employed. New people will have to be given leadership positions. Blue state authorities will have to coordinate with one another to protect vulnerable Americans. To make this happen, the [Democratic National Committee] should finally do what it should have done years ago: set up a political operations unit to devise and coordinate anti-GOP actions nationwide. (Fox News performs this function, and others, for the GOP.)

My sarcastic neighbor chuckled. “Does this mean you ain’t gonna withdraw from the human race and tend your garden? You’re blaming the party now, not the peeps?”

“I’m just saying I’d change things in a big way if I were in a position to make plans for the Democrats. I’d push aside the do-nothing dinosaurs — Chuck Schumer and so on. I’d make sure the chairperson of the DNC was someone who had a pulse and a sense of how to combat fascist propaganda. Someone who hasn’t fallen into the neoliberal trap the party set for itself, pandering to the rich at the expense of the working class.”

“Blah blah,” Swamp Rabbit said. “Are you sure about this O’Neill guy? He reminds me of Bernie Sanders.”

He was trying to annoy me. “What’s wrong with Bernie, swamp creature? He predicted that the Democratic party would implode if it ignored the millions of people being wooed by fascists. He was right, wasn’t he?”

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Posted on November 8, 2024 by oddmanout215

The real ‘enemy within’ has been voted in again. Now what?
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The real ‘enemy within’ has been voted in again. Now what?

Posted on November 7, 2024 by oddmanout215

My neighbor Swamp Rabbit was drinking beer and praising a popular blogger who said the Democratic Party leaders, not Trump voters, are to blame for our election disaster. The party shouldn’t have waited so long to ditch the doddering Joe Biden, shouldn’t have nominated Kamala Harris, shouldn’t have said the economy was improving, on and on.

“Wrong,” I said. The Democratic Party is run by complacent fools and Harris was arguably a weak candidate, but she was running against Donald Trump, a convicted felon who tried to block certification of the 2020 election and is now vowing to eliminate our country’s “enemy from within,” whatever that means. Voters knew what the stakes were but a majority of them, eyes wide open, elected the same insurrectionist bigot who squeaked out a presidential victory in 2016.

“I’m bummed out too, but there ain’t no point belly-achin’,” Swamp Rabbit said. “Trump took a page out of Hitler’s book and made the most of his one big talent — spreading fear and hate. He convinced the peeps to believe his lies.”

I picked up one of my mangy neighbor’s empty beer cans and threw it at him. “Wrong again. Trump didn’t have to convince them. It’s like I said last week.”

Last week I said that Trump’s peeps know he’s a pathological liar. They know he wanted to “terminate” the Constitution in order to overthrow the 2020 election results. They know he’s on good terms with certain dictators, including Vladimir Putin, who crushed democracy in Russia and is trying to destroy Ukraine and the NATO alliance.

They know he said that drinking bleach might help cure Covid, that wind turbines cause cancer, that climate change is a hoax, that Haitian immigrants are eating our cats and dogs, that it’s OK to grab women “by the pussy” and beat up anyone who disagrees with the MAGA creed, that —

“OK, I get it, but he’s giving his peeps what they want, don’t you think?” Swamp Rabbit said. “He says he’ll deport millions of Mexicans, cut taxes and bring down the price of eggs.”

“He’s giving them empty promises and a preview of life in an autocracy. He’s not giving me what I want, or any of the people I respect and care about.”

Swamp Rabbit popped open another beer and sat back in the rocking chair I trash-picked for him last month. “Lighten up, or you’ll blow a gasket. Remember what Kamala said — We all have so much more in common than what separates us.”

“Sorry, but I’ve got nothing in common with the people who voted for that evil clown, and neither do you. I plan to avoid them as much as possible and hang out with civilized people who know enough history to appreciate how hard it is to get rid of fascists once they’re in power. I guess I’ll make like Candide and cultivate my garden.”

Swamp Rabbit got a kick out of that one. “I can see your garden from here, Odd Man. So far the only thing you’re cultivatin’ is weeds.”

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The spooky season isn’t over yet

Posted on November 1, 2024 by oddmanout215

“You’re a little late with your Halloween playlist,” my neighbor Swamp Rabbit said. “And you didn’t decorate the front of your shack. The only treat you got left is candy corn. That stuff is lethal.”

I told him to think of Halloween as a season rather than a one-day event. The event is over but the days are still growing shorter, and the world is spookier than ever, especially with the presidential election only a few days away and the outcome in doubt. In fact, this is probably the scariest Halloween in living memory.

“You ain’t wrong, I guess,” he said. “The peeps are strange, and that’s a fact. This time next week we might all be runnin’ with the devil.”

“Running from the devil, more likely.” I said. “Unless there’s a national exorcism.”

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The plot against America thickens

Posted on October 30, 2024 by oddmanout215

I was telling my neighbor Swamp Rabbit that Philip Roth would have been appalled but not surprised by the deification of Donald Trump at Madison Square Garden earlier this week. Roth, who died in 2018, depicted a fascist nightmare taking shape in his novel The Plot Against America (2004), which traces an alternative history in which FDR loses the 1940 election to Nazi sympathizer Charles Lindbergh and the United States becomes an ally of Nazi Germany. The author’s message is that the bad guys could take over here as quickly as they did in Germany in the 1930s.

“What’s all that got to do with Trump?” Swamp Rabbit said. “Didn’t you hear Hulk Hogan say there weren’t no ‘stinkin’ Nazis’ at Trump’s Garden rally?”

I did indeed hear a recording of Hogan’s speech. And I heard the comedian who said Puerto Rico was a “floating island of garbage,” an old friend of Trump who called Kamala Harris “the antichrist,” a radio guy who complained that “f$#%king illegals get everything they want,” and similar statements by a whole raft of uglies eager to kiss Trump’s ass.

Trump spoke last and vowed to “launch the largest deportation program in American history,” perhaps unaware he was echoing the German American Bund leader who expressed similar anti-immigrant sentiments at a pro-Nazi rally held in February 1939 at Madison Square Garden (one of three previous incarnations of the Garden, not the current arena).

“There you go again,” Swamp Rabbit said. “Making a big deal of the fact that Trump’s fans are as dumb and nasty as he is. Implying that he and them MAGA boys, just because they talk and act like Nazis in the 1930s, are planning to make America a fascist state.”

He smiled, unable to disguise his irony. He knows what the Trumpers will do to the country if they get the chance.

“Don’t forget to vote for Harris,” he said.

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WAPO’s ‘premature capitulation’

Posted on October 28, 2024 by oddmanout215

Media critics and informed people in general were bewildered and angered this week when the Washington Post announced it would not endorse a presidential candidate. This move was made “in support of our readers’ ability to make up their own minds,” according to the Post’s publisher, William Lewis.

“No one believes that guy, he’s a yes man for the Post’s owner, Jeff Bezos,” my neighbor Swamp Rabbit said, noting that the Post, in making this move, had scuttled the endorsement of Kamala Harris that its editorial board drafted earlier this month. “Bezos wanted to stay on Trump’s good side. He ain’t foolin’ nobody.”

My pesky friend and I agreed that Bezos, by bowing to Trump, has damaged the newspaper’s credibility as an independent news source. The billionaire Amazon founder has reminded the world that the news business has changed drastically in the half-century since the Post defied the powers-that-be by pursuing the Watergate burglary story and by fighting, along with the New York Times, a successful court battle to finish publishing the Pentagon Papers.

Many readers have opted to “make up their own minds” about the Post‘s non-endorsement by canceling their subscriptions to the newspaper. Many of the Post‘s writers and editors are as upset as their readers.

Former Post editor Marty Baron tweeted that the move was “cowardice, with democracy as its casualty.” Editor-at-large Robert Kagan resigned from the Post over the weekend and called the endorsement fiasco “premature capitulation,” meaning that Bezos and his minions, even if embarrassed, must have felt it was prudent to back away from Harris just in case Trump wins the election.

Historian Timothy Snyder cautioned against this sort of thing in his 2017 book On Tyranny:

Do not obey in advance. Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely given. In times like these, individuals think ahead about what a more repressive government will want, and then offer themselves without being asked. A citizen who adapts in this way is teaching power what it can do.

I noted that the Post‘s slogan “Democracy dies in darkness” seems sadly ironic in light of its decision to cave to Trump.

“Kagan nailed it,” Swamp Rabbit said, shrugging. “Bezos is scared his rocket ship company might be in trouble if he don’t play ball with the orange beast.”

“It’s all about the money.” he added. “Greedy, unaccountable creeps like Bezos can’t never get enough of it.”

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Are Trump fans blind? No, it’s worse than that.

Posted on October 25, 2024 by oddmanout215

Here’s Robert Reich, echoing the thoughts of sane people all over the country:

… At this moment, I’m frankly worried. How is it even possible that Trump is tied with Harris in the battleground states that will determine who becomes president? How can so many Americans be blind to who Trump is and what he intends to do?

Good questions. Donald Trump says the 2020 election was rigged despite abundant evidence to the contrary. He’ll claim the 2024 election was rigged if he doesn’t win. He has falsely accused immigrants of being rapists even though he’s the guy who was convicted of sexual assault. He has threatened to order the military to crack down on “the enemy within,” meaning anyone who disapproves of him. He praised Hitler and his generals, and eulogized Arnold Palmer’s penis.

“Is Reich right?” I asked. “Is the MAGA crowd blind?”

“Not really,” my neighbor Swamp Rabbit replied. “Angry and hateful maybe, but they ain’t blind.”

But Trump has been impeached twice and faces multiple criminal indictments. He encouraged an insurrection to block certification of Joe Biden’s victory in 2020 and called for “termination” of the Constitution to clear the way for his reinstatement as president. John Kelly and other former members of the Trump team say he’s a fascist. Like us, they fear for the survival of democracy in America.

“In light of all these facts, how could Trump supporters not be blind?” I said, persisting.

“They see what they want to see,” Swamp Rabbit explained. “They ain’t concerned about high-fallutin’ concepts like democracy, or about freedom of speech and freedom of the press and all that other good stuff in the Bill of Rights. If the Constitution got terminated a lot of them wouldn’t even care, not if Trump brought down the price of eggs, blocked immigration, didn’t raise taxes and kept black people in line. They wanna feel safe.”

“But that’s ridiculous,” I said, frustrated now. “Trump wants to be dictator. If he gets elected again, no one will be safe except for billionaire pigs like Elon Musk and Peter Thiel who think freedom and democracy are incompatible. They want to replace democracy with corporate government.”

“You ain’t listening,” my swampy neighbor said. “The MAGA crowd don’t care. They’re mad at the government. They can live with a tyrant if they think the tyrant is on their side. Quit thinking they can be nagged into doing the right thing. Just vote for Kamala Harris and hope most voters do the same.”

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From Red October to Dead October

Posted on October 11, 2024 by oddmanout215

Editor’s note: Red October was the name used by the Philadelphia Phillies’ corporate advertising machine to herald what was supposed to be the team’s victory march through the National League playoffs and the World Series. Here’s a transcript of my phone texts with my neighbor Swamp Rabbit right after the New York Mets demolished the Phillies in the playoffs this week:

Swamp Rabbit: I really, really, really hate the Phillies.

Swamp Rabbit again: And I really don’t want to hear any more excuses from [Phillies manager] Rob Thomson.

Odd Man Out: Yes and yes, but I feel sorry for Thomson. What can you do when your star players all fail at the same time — bench them and send in their mediocre backups? And how can you explain what went wrong if you’re not really free to speak your mind? You can’t criticize the stars, especially in front of reporters, lest you get on their bad side and risk losing your job.

Swamp Rabbit: I don’t get it. Why is Thomson the guy who might lose his job? Them stars get paid to win the big games. It ain’t Thomson’s fault if they lose because they swing at bad balls and try to hit home runs instead of just trying to get on base.

Odd Man Out: The four guys at the top of the Phillies’ starting lineup are collectively making about $800 million over the course of their contracts. They have more power than the manager. They can’t be traded for screwing up because the other Major League Baseball teams won’t pick up their enormous salaries. And if they’re fired, they still get their money.

Swamp Rabbit: That don’t make no sense. Why get yourself into a mess like that?

Odd Man Out: A capitalist’s dilemma. The team owners invest a ton of money trying to field a championship team. They get a lot of that money back from broadcast rights and from the team’s mostly middle-class fans who can afford to spend big money on super-expensive tickets and concessions and souvenirs and all that. But the whole scheme can go south if the team loses, and the fans lose faith and stop spending.

Swamp Rabbit: You’re sayin’ there ain’t no way to fix the mess?

Odd Man Out: The team owners can make Thomson and his coaching staff the scapegoats to appease Phillies fans who want to see heads roll. They can stop spending money on the team and eventually sell it at a huge profit. But they can’t sanction players with great long-term contracts in the hope of getting them to perform better.

Swamp Rabbit: Like I said, I really hate them guys. Baseball stars are a bunch of pampered, overpaid, unaccountable prima donnas, as smug as the zillionaires who own the teams. I’m done with following baseball.

Odd Man Out: Give me a break. You’re done until April when the next season starts. We need sports to take our minds off what’s going on in the real world.

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Trump’s dog day debate performance

Posted on September 12, 2024 by oddmanout215

In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs — the people that came in — they’re eating the cats. They’re eating — they’re eating — the pets of the people that live there. And this is what’s happening in our country, and it’s a shame.

“Trump is right,” I told my neighbor Swamp Rabbit as we watched the presidential debate together. “It’s a damn shame what’s happening in our country.”

The shame is that a twice-impeached, insurrectionist nutjob and felon was allowed to run for President of the United States again, and that he still has a fair chance of being elected. But the odds of this were narrowed Tuesday when Kamala Harris suckered him into making a fool of himself in front of millions of viewers.

I spelled it out for Swamp Rabbit: Harris must have sensed that Trump would fail to keep a lid on his looniness if she pushed the right buttons. Sure enough, the old fraud flipped out and launched into his cats-and-dogs rant regarding Haitian immigrants. He also accused Democrats of advocating not only unrestricted abortion but also “execution after birth.” And, of course, he tried to weasel out of responsibility for the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol by a MAGA mob. In Trump’s adolescent mind, he was indicted not because he tried to subvert the 2020 election results but rather because Joe Biden and Harris have a vendetta against him.

But it’s the cats-and-dogs lie voters will remember, just like they remember Trump’s running mate’s “childless cat ladies” insult. (Taylor Swift alluded to it when she endorsed Harris.)

I said, “The funny thing is that Trump doesn’t care about pets. I doubt he ever owned a dog. He hates dogs.”

“I guess so,” Swamp Rabbit replied. “But I betcha he’d eat one of them if you served it up with a big side of cheese fries.”

Posted in humor, mainstream media, Philadelphia, weasel | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments