Put on your waders, here comes the presidential bullshit:
Tonight, let us think back to the sense of unity that prevailed on 9/11. I know that it has, at times, frayed. Yet today’s achievement is a testament to the greatness of our country and the determination of the American people.
For almost a decade, the mainstream media obediently served up government lies concerning the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden. The criminal mastermind was holed up in a cave on the Afghan-Pakistani border. He was dashing from mountain to mountain with U.S. Army Rangers in hot pursuit. He was in a tent somewhere, on a dialysis machine, surrounded by bazooka-toting lookalikes. He was dead and buried at Tora Bora.
In the end, he was “found” and killed by Navy SEALs 60 miles from the Islamabad, the capital of Pakistan, where he’d been living in a mansion/compound. Now all we’re hearing from the media, aside from clips of politicians spewing victory speeches, is that U.S. forces acted on a tip about bin Laden’s whereabouts that was confirmed back in August.
If you believe we had to be tipped off by a third party, then you probably believe humans and dinosaurs roamed the earth together, as they do at that theme park in the Bible Belt.
If you think the Pakistanis didn’t know exactly where bin Laden was years ago, or that the U.S. didn’t have to cut a deal with them to get to him, then you’re even dumber than Wolf Blitzer. (Last night, the hoary CNN host exclaimed “who would have thought” bin Laden would be found living in luxury under the noses of our allies.)
Finally, if you think bin Laden’s terror attack on 9/11 didn’t spark exactly the responses he’d hoped for — two disastrous ongoing wars that have killed hundreds of thousands, and helped destroy our credibility and erode our constitutional rights — then you probably believe what you hear in the media or from blowhards masquerading as political leaders.
Have fun, news junkies. Over the next week, mainstream reporters will crank out thousands of dispatches about bin Laden, mostly infotainment from government sources. The real news will remain locked in a cool, dark place, far from the not-so-free and extremely timid press.